Bachelor Party
No, not the movie...MY bachelor party. Just got back from Key West on Monday, and had an absolute blast. Rather than bore everyone with details, I figured I'd take a page from the Sports Guy's book and hand out some awards for the weekend. But rather than derive those awards from movie quotes or song lyrics, I am just naming them whatever I feel like naming them. Persons' names have been changed to protect the guilty...
The "You Suck" Award
...goes to Alcoholic Dwarf for spending the entire weekend trying to scam Cinderella. Nobody told him that he was supposed to be scamming Snow White, and so he ended up wasting the entire time relatively sober and absolutely blue-balled!
The "Twilight Zone" Award
...goes to Hanson brother #3, for stumping us all with some weird back ailment that lasted all of 40 minutes, until he got back to his room and decided body slams were in order. Thanks for making me carry you home for NOTHING!
The "Bud Fox" Award
...goes to KYB for single-handedly driving up the stock price of Blackberry and Verizon over the course of four days (2 of whch the markets were closed) and bringing a 12% increase to my investment portfolio. Thanks!
The "AAA" Award
...goes to Vitamin MJ. Certain people just have centers of gravity that are too high for scooter rental. Because of this, I had to keep 911 ready on speed dial and my AAA card in my front pocket. But alas, neither had to be used.
The "Stop Drinking Gin" Award
...goes to Alcoholic Dwarf - STOP DRINKING GIN!
The "Serta" Award
...also goes to Hanson brother #3 for managing to roll his ass clear across a queen sized bed and slam his head into a wooden table. A queen bed, and you couldn't stop yourself somewhere in the middle?
The "Houdini" Award
...goes to PVC for his disappearing acts. He's like a dog...when in doubt, check place of origin - he'll be sleeping on the doorstep.
The "ATM" Award
...goes to Luv, who always made sure I had money when I needed it. Thanks - your timing was impeccable!
The "Switch Hitter" Award
...goes to Big Beef, who almost became "Little Beef" when a native decided he wanted to slip him some of his own big beef. And although he won't admit it, part of me thinks that he was horny enough to at least consider it.
The "You Weren't Drunk Enough" Award
...goes to me, because I remember most of this. Damn!
and The "Nice Job" Award
...goes to my brother, for putting this all together and doing a damn fine job with it...nice job!
The "You Suck" Award
...goes to Alcoholic Dwarf for spending the entire weekend trying to scam Cinderella. Nobody told him that he was supposed to be scamming Snow White, and so he ended up wasting the entire time relatively sober and absolutely blue-balled!
The "Twilight Zone" Award
...goes to Hanson brother #3, for stumping us all with some weird back ailment that lasted all of 40 minutes, until he got back to his room and decided body slams were in order. Thanks for making me carry you home for NOTHING!
The "Bud Fox" Award
...goes to KYB for single-handedly driving up the stock price of Blackberry and Verizon over the course of four days (2 of whch the markets were closed) and bringing a 12% increase to my investment portfolio. Thanks!
The "AAA" Award
...goes to Vitamin MJ. Certain people just have centers of gravity that are too high for scooter rental. Because of this, I had to keep 911 ready on speed dial and my AAA card in my front pocket. But alas, neither had to be used.
The "Stop Drinking Gin" Award
...goes to Alcoholic Dwarf - STOP DRINKING GIN!
The "Serta" Award
...also goes to Hanson brother #3 for managing to roll his ass clear across a queen sized bed and slam his head into a wooden table. A queen bed, and you couldn't stop yourself somewhere in the middle?
The "Houdini" Award
...goes to PVC for his disappearing acts. He's like a dog...when in doubt, check place of origin - he'll be sleeping on the doorstep.
The "ATM" Award
...goes to Luv, who always made sure I had money when I needed it. Thanks - your timing was impeccable!
The "Switch Hitter" Award
...goes to Big Beef, who almost became "Little Beef" when a native decided he wanted to slip him some of his own big beef. And although he won't admit it, part of me thinks that he was horny enough to at least consider it.
The "You Weren't Drunk Enough" Award
...goes to me, because I remember most of this. Damn!
and The "Nice Job" Award
...goes to my brother, for putting this all together and doing a damn fine job with it...nice job!
posted by bdonin at
12:51 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home