When Friends Are Family

As most of you probably know, my buddy Beef has a blog (visit "Beef's Blog" under the Links section below if you haven't already). Yesterday, he left a quick post about an experience he had this past weekend when a bunch of us were vacationing together in Maryland. Unfortunately, somebody decided to bust his balls a bit and he got a little sensitive about it. I was surprised to read this for two reasons; one - he makes ball-busting an art form and two - most of us have been friends for 10+ years and ball-busting is a right of passage for our gang. How bloods and cryps induct new gang members with a beatdown; we do the same verbally, except it doesn't stop after induction. But all of us understand that it is out of love and brotherhood, not dislike or condescension. In fact, if we dislike you, we just won't talk to you.

Some quick history...11 or 12 years ago, roughly 10 guys became friends while attending all-male prep school here in NJ - the breeding ground for ball busting. We've all been close friends ever since, to the point where we are pretty much family. This isn't acquaintance status - this is presence at family funerals, witness to marriage proposals, best-man/wedding party, godparent status.

Now in my opinion, when people are this close, there is bound to be conflict. You can't spend that much time with someone, and experience that much together, and not have turbulence from time to time. If you are simply an acquaintance of someone's, you never become close enough to really get personal. And only when you interact on a personal level can conflict arise - with the level of personal we're at with this group, conflict does arise. Not the kind of conflict that causes fights or alienation, but the kind that causes misunderstandings, frustration, etc. as seen in Beef's post. And all of that becomes magnified when you throw alcohol in the mix...which we usually do.

So to anyone reading this, especially Beef, I say this - don't ever take silly jabs and quips too seriously. If they were made by friends, then you know it was just some harmless ball-busting - they wouldn't be your friend if they really looked down on you or thought they were better than you. And if they were made by people you don't consider friends, then who cares? I've learned to say "go fuck yourself" in 8 different languages.